Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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