You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
