You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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