dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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