There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
