In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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