i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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