I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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