It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
