He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
