im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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