So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's always time for handjobs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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