Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
