He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
