You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
