You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
