He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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