according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
