You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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