Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
