I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
