Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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