mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
