What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this will be a night to untag.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
