Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
do herpes really smell.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
