I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize