i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
