And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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