my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
