chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
