the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize