I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
