weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
