sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
