Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
