i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
