I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize