I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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