They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
