Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
