just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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