he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
