Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
