I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
