In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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