i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
