google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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