Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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