Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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