y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
