The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
