Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
