I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
