i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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