SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
