O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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