24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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