I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize