Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
